From time to time, we all get a little Hunger Lion in our lives. You know what I’m talking about—just when you think you’re doing all great, and you’re on top of your diet, your fitness, and the world in general, BOOM! A Hunger Lion invades your body, and you become a ravenous beast, wreaking havoc on all pizza, cookies, candy bars, and buffalo chicken dips in the area. Like these specific food choices I’ve enumerated here?
From my very scientific research of Hunger Lion attacks
thus far, I’ve concluded that they largely occur on the weekend. And around times
of celebration. And before/during/after snowstorms. Furthermore, the lion does not have mercy on
your tummy, your booty, or your emotions. And your clothing joins in on the fun—poking,
squeezing, and mocking you for weeks—jerks. The damage is often catastrophic,
and it can take months for an unsuspecting victim to repair and rebuild their
lives.
Unluckily for me, I’ve been going through Hunger Lion
attack after-shocks since the holidays. Yes, I mean the ones that occurred two
months ago. I’ve discussed this in previous posts, but I packed in—and on—some really
delicious food toward the end of 2013. And thus far, getting it to let go of my
body has been like asking this cat to let go of her favorite toy, Purple String:
 |
| Never. |
After a Hunger Lion attacking spree, I like to get
focused and shake off the extra softness. As motivation, le boyfriend and I
like to partake in a little competition we call The Five Pound Beatdown. The
rules of the challenge are simple: the first one to lose five pounds, and
maintain it for three consecutive days, gets one “ask” from the other. “Asks”
are a very valuable form of currency around these parts, and as such, the request
must be identified at the start of the competition—that way, we both know what
we are fighting for and against. Incentive at its finest. Especially as you can
ask for whatever you want, within reason—a foot rub…not having to fold laundry
for a week…one night out of the cage…
We’ve done several Five Pound Beatdowns before, and
typically, never takes longer than three weeks for a victor to emerge. Our most
recent one started off on January 2, so now we’ve been at it for just about
five weeks. No winner yet. And it’s driving me crazy. Le boyfriend has hit 5
pounds on the nose, but did not maintain it for the three consecutive days. Phew.
The closest I’ve come? Down 3lbs. But that was three weeks ago, and since then,
I’ve been hovering around my starting numbers.
I have no idea what is going on. I’ve never had this much
difficulty kicking holiday/celebratory/snow day weight before. I’ve found that Hunger
Lions come when I am OUT of routine—not going to the gym and not eating as I
normally would. Thus, my strategy for is very simple, yet historically
effective: get back to the gym and get back to your clean-ish diet. In prior
Beatdowns, it’s had a 100% success rate.
This time around is different. I’ve been hitting the gym
hard—following T25, then doing an additional 35 minutes of cardio or weights—five
days a week. My diet’s been consistently clean for realistically 85% of the
week. But it’s just not coming off.
There are a few possible explanations as to why:
1. I
am building a crap ton of muscle (that is a scientific measurement). So perhaps
I’m just converting fat into rock hard abs? Alas, I can refute that, as my
fancy scale tells me I’ve only lost 0.2% body fat since the start of the year,
and only gained about 0.1% of muscle. So there goes that, I guess.
2. I’ve
hit the mid-20’s slump that females have groaned about since the dawn of time.
Apparently this is when reach a time in your life where your body just stops
doing what you want it to do, no matter how hard you work. But I’m too young to
die!
3. Diet
is still not on point. Some more on that…
I know in my heart of hearts that the last is the real
issue, and that I could be super successful if I cleaned up my diet even more,
and never looked at grains or other forms of carbs again. But in truth, my
definition of a healthy diet is firmly grounded in the power of chocolate. And Brussels
sprouts. And pizza. And green smoothies. And buffalo chicken dip. And sweet
potatoes. Catch my drift?
In my own microcosm of life, I’m for balance and
sustainability. I tend to stray away from “restricting” much of anything—especially
food—because I think it sounds negative and can bring a sense of guilt or
culpability into your world that is equal parts fabricated and toxic. Restricting
survives by drinking Haterade, and that kind of codswallop really not need have
a place in your kickass life.
Instead, I try to have a more harmonious relationship
with the food I put into my body. I’ve learned via trial-by-fire how certain
foods make me feel, and this has allowed me to become an active participant in
my mood, energy level, and day as a whole. I think that’s pretty neat, and
affords me a lot more control than idly making lists of things I can and cannot
have. So sure, I’ll eat the pizza, knowing I’ll turn into Rip Van Winkle about
10 minutes after it settles in my stomach. And sure, I’ll eat the protein
smoothie so I can go Hulk out at the gym. Don’t think I forgot about you, Buff
Chick Dip—even though you turn my insides into lava! And shout out to you, Paleo
lunch—you don’t make me want to put a straw in the coffee pot come 3pm!
If you ask me, healthy eating—and living—is about exploration
and participation. Know your options, make educated choices, and enjoying the
resulting ride!
…even if it means you are about to lose a Five Pound
Beatdown.
Here's to the weekend!
