I'm Getting Wrecked

…by T25.

(Note: I’m just telling you a story about my life, here, people. I’m neither reviewing nor being paid/given stuff—like delicious, delicious candy—to endorse any products.)

Now, most people who know about T25 know about it via infomercials. I, too, familiarized myself with it one day while seeking mental solace from the physical murder that was happening to me on the treadmill—apparently I like to dull the pain of my own workout masochism by watching others tolerate a similar state.

For those of you unfamiliar with this program, it’s a complete ass-kicking that occurs in 25 non-stop, brutal minutes. No water breaks, no mercy. The standard T25 program lasts 2 months, and is broken into two phases—Alpha and Beta. You work out five times per week for 10 weeks, with a simple philosophy. 1: Work as hard as you can the whole time and 2: Systematically fatigue muscle groups, leaving you virtually exhausted post-workout. If you do all that, T25 promises you crazy results, reaping the benefits of a longer (and kinder) workout in a much shorter gym session.

Sounds pretty enticing, no? Well, despite the epic before/after pictures, the hype, and the dependency that may or may not have developed between me and the informercial whilst I was following my running plan, I didn’t bite.  For two reasons. The first is that the workouts looked way too hard, and required way too much coordination. The second? I never really believe what I see on TV, anyway.

Then, one of my friends started doing it and recommended it to me (btw, she looks fabulous). She knew that I love busting my butt at the gym, but understands my busy schedule and need for variation in my workouts. Voila—the best of both worlds. Now there’s a sales pitch I can get behind.

So, as an individual constantly searching for self-destruction challenge, I decided to give the program a shot. I’ve now been following the Alpha workout schedule for two weeks, and I swear, it’s the hardest workout plan I’ve ever done. But I’m slowly falling in love.

Let me be the first to say, T25 does require coordination. I’ve had to pause the videos several times just to understand what the heck is going on in the moves. Arms and legs going in different directions? Needing to find and follow a rhythm? I mean, let’s not get crazy, here! This isn’t Juilliard! Oftentimes, I feel like Elaine from that episode of Seinfeld where she demonstrates her dancing (in)abilities. No rhythm, no style, but still having an okay time. I also like to compare myself to the word flailing. Just say the word out loud a few times. The way it sounds and the picture that comes to mind is ALMOST DEFINITELY what I feel and look like doing this program. You're welcome for all of the above images.

T25 also requires a significant amount of mental fortitude. This guy pushes you to the brink of your capacity, and then asks you to suck it up and give him more. I’m constantly amazed that 25 minutes really is such a short amount of time, but with this program, you feel every second pass. Not in a bad way, just in a holy-crap-it’s-only-been-20-seconds?!?!-it-feels-like-a-millenium kind of way.

…And sometimes, you feel like puking…

But I haven’t yet!!!

All I’ll say is thank the sweet baby Jesus that there is an athlete (yes, these people are definitely athletes in my book) modifying every move in the workouts. Her name is Tanya, and I’m going to marry her when I grow up. She’s saved my butt from throwing up and/or falling over in defeat more times than I can count. Just when I can’t do another spider pushup, I look up to find her making the move just a little more do-able. I’ve bonded with her in a way words can’t express.  But sometimes, I even have to modify what Tanya is doing because even that is too hard. I hope she still loves me for who I am…

So anyway, I’m going to give this a shot for the duration of the program. I’ve got another 8 weeks left, but I’m feeling stronger every day. I started the workouts able to complete about 60% of the exercises, and I needed to pause the video to catch my breath for several times. Now, I’m able to make it through each video without pausing, and though I do still modify moves, I’d say I can do close to 75% of them on full strength. Just not quite full speed yet...

...I won't forget you, Tanya!!!

I’m definitely appreciating the absolute annihilation that these workouts are capable of unleashing. I am basically drenched within the first five minutes, and need a nap after the full 25. It’s a great butt kicking for the limited amount of time you are required to invest. Whether or not I’ll have a crazy before/after picture is yet to be seen (and probably highly unlikely given my body’s affinity for swelling up like a pufferfish at the first sight of wheat), but for now, it just feels good to be working hard, hanging in there when it gets tough, and sticking to something new.

In other news, my feet have been killing me after each workout since I started. Then I remembered that my current workout shoes were lightweight running ones, and therefore not meant for jumping (read: flailing) around like a maniac. So, it was time to pick out a nice pair of cushion-y trail runners! Here they are!

Oooh, Ahhh.

Also, it wouldn't be my blog without a cat photo!!! So here's Hatch, drinking out of her preferred container of late. She does this ALL. THE. TIME. No water glass is safe.

Hatch demonstrating the importance of hydration.

Happy weekend-ing, everyone!