Catching Up

I’m returning to the blog-o-sphere after a busy month! I feel really crappy about my absence—especially as every time I sat down to tell you all about something new and exciting, I found myself with an oreo in my mouth and a nap on the horizon…

Priorities, am I right?

Anyway, a lot’s been going down! And luckily, that means I have lots of stuff about which to post! Over the next few days, I’m hoping we can catch up with one another and maybe have a couple of laughs over the crazy shenanigans that are disguising themselves as life around these parts.  

Let’s start where we left off.

Folks—I lost the first round of the Five Pound Beatdown. About a week after my last post.

It was an expected defeat, but I’d be lying to say it didn’t hurt. He beat me by a lot. 4.8 pounds to be exact. I’ve still got more to figure out regarding why, but my body is not cooperating with weight loss recently, and I am getting rather frustrated. While I am happy for the success of le boyfriend, I’m simultaneously plotting my revenge licking my wounds, assessing my current predicament, and adjusting accordingly. In the meantime, le boyfriend still has his “ask” in his pocket, so I’m still waiting to pay the piper. 

Since doing this iteration of the Beatdown, I’m convinced that something is going on with me—and it rhymes with, and induces, rage.  That’s right, I’m talking about age. I don’t know if I’m experiencing a hormonal shift or if my body is prematurely preparing for retirement, but I’m convinced that I’ve hit a mid-20’s metabolic collapse (which, I hypothesize, could rival that of Black Monday’s). In previous beatdowns, agreeing to lose a specified amount of pounds was fair. We were both able to gain or lose weight quickly, and in equal measure to the other. Beatdowns were anyone’s game, lasted for a few weeks at most, and life was good.

Post-metabolic crash, however, I’m feeling like this system is a little skewed toward my man friend. After some discussion, we’ve agreed that next Beatdown, we will aim to lose a predetermined percentage of body weight instead of a specific loss of pounds to level out the playing field. Maybe I’m just a sore loser, but I feel like I’m doing everything the same as I would have in the past, but not yielding the same results. Previously, hitting up the gym and reestablishing healthy eating 80% of the time would have done the trick. Now, that’s just a recipe for weight management at best. And it’s driving me crazy. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORKOUT AND EAT A FEW OREOS WHILE LOSING POUNDAGE, DAMNIT. Obviously, my old practices aren’t working anymore, so I’ve got to do something differently. 

More on that later.

In the meantime, phase two of the classic Beatdown is still on: the first one down 10 pounds from our initial weight wins a fancy date from the other. Le boyfriend has already made quite clear that, should he win, he wants Popeye’s. And he’s not kidding.

The starting bell of round two rang about three weeks ago, and since then, both of our weights are all over the place--likely due to the insane amount of instability in both our weekly routines and eating habits recently. Though, le boyfriend is managing to hold his five pound lead, so I'd better figure out this slump soon! No amount of delicious fried chicken will taste as good as victory...

Happy Thursday to you! May your day be filled with delicious coffee and cute kitties. 

Hatch love-hates laundry day. 3 seconds post-photo, she chewed a hole through that sock.