What's What Wednesday

1.     It’s been a while! I am still alive. I had been consumed by weddings, but now I’ve been spit out the other side.

2.     Due to the above, I am quite tired.

3.     Due to both of the above, I took 2.5 weeks off from working out. I got incredibly soft and now feel like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters I.  So much for all of that progress from T25…

GIVE ME ALL THE COOKIES.

4.     I eat peanut butter on my hamburgers.

5.     Growing up, I was convinced that I was the real-life version of Truman from the movie The Truman Show. I thought there were cameras hidden in everything, and that people were watching me on TV somewhere.

6.     I hate when people follow me up stairs. It’s completely irrational, but I get this overwhelming fight or flight response when it happens. And I always flight. Hard. Like, mach-speed-up-the-stairs-running-for-my-life-get- away-from-me-creepy-stalker kind of flight. I have no idea why or what I am afraid of. I just know I become terrified and then proceed to haul ass.

7.     I am also completely terrified of snakes. Looking at them fills me with hot terror and sends my brain into complete disarray. Even if I know they are safely in their terrarium, I just feel like vomiting and murdering all at the same time. This one time, I was mowing my lawn on my John Deere riding tractor (shout out), and came across a snake. As you do in Vermont. I was on a HUGE, LOUD, FAST machine with ROTATING BLADES OF DEATH and I still panicked at the sight of the poor guy. So he’s like “shit, I’m going to die” and I’m like “SHIT, I’M GOING TO DIE.” So naturally, I make extraordinarily nimble evasive moves with my trusty lawnmower—steering very successfully as far away as possible from the snake and very unsuccessfully into a fence. Not my proudest moment.

8.     I have zero fear of spiders.  So ha.

9.     I love coffee. Not even for the caffeine. Just because it is the sweet, sweet nectar of peace and positive vibes, yo.

10.  One of my main goals in life is to have a hammock. And a garden. I am currently moving toward one of those two things. It’s not the hammock.

11.  When I was in high school, I taught myself some guitar because I wanted to be all croony and cool. And by some, I mean strictly enough chords to play “We Both Go Down Together” by The Decemberists. Then I stopped. I’d like to learn more eventually.

12.  One of my majors in college was French. I studied it for 14 years, and got pretty okay at it. Now I can barely remember any of it. But I can remember all of the words to every tweeny pop song I ever heard. I want that space in my brain back. And I want it repurposed for REMEMBERING WHAT IT SAID I “MASTERED” ON MY COLLEGIATE DIPLOMA. Stupid brain.

13.  One of my favorite words in the English language is “troll.” It just makes me giggle.

14.  One of my favorite expressions in French is “l’esprit de l’escalier.” It literally translates to “the spirit of the stairs,” but it is what the French use to describe the “Ahhh man” feeling you get when you come up with a super witty comeback to something way after the moment has passed. This happens to me ALL THE TIME, but have yet to find an adequate way to express the feeling in English.

15.  I have minor existential crises when I stare at the stars for too long.

16.  I have yet to eat dinner.

17.  I kinda want my dinner to be mac n’ cheese and oreos.

18.  I ran out of random thoughts.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I hope you are showing the week what for! Catch you later!